I have not posted in awhile but I am back with more things to rant about and a couple things to rave about but I welcome all new friends and you can expect more and more blogs as the year continues. Now onto the point of todays blog. Skinny Jeans.
Who in the world do these things look good on? I think that if you are going to wear skinny jeans then you should find your own skinny jean personal shopper to follow you around until you have found the pair that looks perfect on you. Chances are you won't find them and if you are wondering why then I suggest you go put the pair you have in your closet on and take a close look at yourself. This is not a fashion statement............this is a fashion don't.
If you happen to be thin and wearing these it only shows off that you have not been eating and most likely need to eat more. If you are one of the girls trying to lay down and shove these jeans on, I am going to hate to break this to you but gravity never goes away. When you stand up, the muffin top comes out and no matter what shirt you are wearing, we can all see it and none of us want to.
If you are a guy wearing skinny jeans, nobody wants to see your package and these jeans were not made to sag and let your boxers hang out the top, hence the name.
Do the world a favor and if any of you are out there trying on a pair of skinny jeans in hopes that they are going to look good.........put them back on the shelf and save your money for a pair that fits. If you happen to be someone who owns a pair, burn them. xoxo.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Facebook........
Don't get me wrong people, I am a huge fan of facebook. I love it. I mean who doesn't want to know when a friend that you haven't talked to in ten years is taking a dump? I get posting lifes great moments and I get venting on facebook but what the hell are you people doing that post from you taking a shit in the morning to when you take your last pee at night? Do you really need to tell the world every move you make? I must be doing something wrong because I am not sure I have the time and dedication for that. I am now using 2-ply tissue to wipe my butt just doesn't have the ring to it that I thought it would.
Why in the world do people post pictures of their food? Is this kind of like rubbing in peoples faces that you are eating a steak and they are not? There is nothing like making your fat friends jealous of you by posting a big fat stack of pancakes in your pictures and then a pic of you and your size 2 frame. It's almost as blunt as you posting "ha ha bitches, I can eat pancakes and you can't because they go straight to your ass and thighs."
Then there are the people who's relationship status changes almost as many times as I change my underwear. In a relationship then five seconds later it's complicated. What the hell could happen to you in five seconds to be happily in a relationship and then five seconds later it be so complicated? Then after it get's complicated you are engaged? And then back to single again. I mean come on people, Britney Spears first marraige lasted longer then yours. For the men who go through relationships like they go through clean socks, double wrap it buddy because you don't want your friends going to the doctor and then posting on facebook that you gave them the clap. Trust me, it does not help out your facebook friends at all.
Then there are the people out there who are thirty years old and deleting their friends left and right. They disagree with someone or they just decide that they no longer want to read about Joey taking his daily poop and they delete you, no explanation, just good-bye your not my friend anymore. Nothing teaches someone a lesson like the fact that they are minus one on their friends list and they have no idea who is gone. On the other end the deleter has their panties in a bunch, getting madder by the minute and then they come up with the perfect solution, the delete button. Get real people, what happened to talking it out? At least give the person one last good-bye post like " Hey Amber, I am going to delete you because I think you suck." and then delete the person so that they know why!
What really makes my life fun is when people have fights with their boyfriend. Their is nothing better then an angry girls posts....... " Oh my god, Devon just called me a bitch. What a jerk. " then you get all your mutual friends on there dissing good old Devon only to hours later post " I am so in love with Devon and all you haters can grow up" . . . Xanax anyone? Maybe a good ol' dose of some multi-personality drugs?
I do have to thank the creators of facebook for giving me something to laugh at everyday. My life will never be as sad as the person who posts pictures of their bowel movements and for that I thank god everyday. Cheers!
By the way please pass me onto your facebook friends. Just think, instead of that picture of food or daily poop picture you could post this and invite something new and exciting into your friends life. Leave comments and don't forget to follow my post because we are sure to have fun in the future! TTYL
Why in the world do people post pictures of their food? Is this kind of like rubbing in peoples faces that you are eating a steak and they are not? There is nothing like making your fat friends jealous of you by posting a big fat stack of pancakes in your pictures and then a pic of you and your size 2 frame. It's almost as blunt as you posting "ha ha bitches, I can eat pancakes and you can't because they go straight to your ass and thighs."
Then there are the people who's relationship status changes almost as many times as I change my underwear. In a relationship then five seconds later it's complicated. What the hell could happen to you in five seconds to be happily in a relationship and then five seconds later it be so complicated? Then after it get's complicated you are engaged? And then back to single again. I mean come on people, Britney Spears first marraige lasted longer then yours. For the men who go through relationships like they go through clean socks, double wrap it buddy because you don't want your friends going to the doctor and then posting on facebook that you gave them the clap. Trust me, it does not help out your facebook friends at all.
Then there are the people out there who are thirty years old and deleting their friends left and right. They disagree with someone or they just decide that they no longer want to read about Joey taking his daily poop and they delete you, no explanation, just good-bye your not my friend anymore. Nothing teaches someone a lesson like the fact that they are minus one on their friends list and they have no idea who is gone. On the other end the deleter has their panties in a bunch, getting madder by the minute and then they come up with the perfect solution, the delete button. Get real people, what happened to talking it out? At least give the person one last good-bye post like " Hey Amber, I am going to delete you because I think you suck." and then delete the person so that they know why!
What really makes my life fun is when people have fights with their boyfriend. Their is nothing better then an angry girls posts....... " Oh my god, Devon just called me a bitch. What a jerk. " then you get all your mutual friends on there dissing good old Devon only to hours later post " I am so in love with Devon and all you haters can grow up" . . . Xanax anyone? Maybe a good ol' dose of some multi-personality drugs?
I do have to thank the creators of facebook for giving me something to laugh at everyday. My life will never be as sad as the person who posts pictures of their bowel movements and for that I thank god everyday. Cheers!
By the way please pass me onto your facebook friends. Just think, instead of that picture of food or daily poop picture you could post this and invite something new and exciting into your friends life. Leave comments and don't forget to follow my post because we are sure to have fun in the future! TTYL
Drive Thru Windows........
Have you ever imagined yourself working at a fast food restaurant just so that you can put food on the table for your kids? Have you ever imagined that these people do not choose to be the person on the microphone taking your order and maybe they were so affected by the economy that this is all they have left to make ends meet? Maybe the person behind the window wants to be there to help you and maybe they are a victim of the failing economy and have no choice but to be there, Either way how does that give morons the right to yell into the microphone like the person on the other end is a 2nd grader and can't understand that you want a soft taco?
I was in a drive thru today and there was a lady in front of me ordering food. " EEEYEEE WAAAANT A SOOOFT TACOOO" talking so slow that my grandma could have understood this lady from the grave. When I pulled up to the window it was a normal guy, in his mid 40's, perfectly healthy with no hearing aid or hearing malfunction that would make this lady want to talk to him like he was rain man on a really bad day. Please, when you go through the damn drive thru do not talk to the people like they are mentally malfunctioned and can't understand English.
I can not begin to even count the times the times that I have gone through the drive thru and heard people yelling at the person because they are Spanish. I hate to break it to you people but there are Spanish people who speak English better then the white people who have been here their whole life so lay off. Just because there is a Spanish person working in a fast food joint doesn't mean that they are illegal immigrants and deserve your racist comments and rude remarks as you pass through. Not every illegal immigrant runs for the border and gets a job at Taco Bell so open your eyes people because that spanish banker of yours that you love so much might just be more illegal then the guy taking your order at the local Burger King.
I am pretty sure that English is a requirement when taking orders so you don't need to help the person taking your order our by making them feel stupid. Many of them are smarter then you are and they have enough respect not to call you stupid when you start talking like you had 20 strokes just so you can get your french fries extra crispy. Thank you to all the people who work in the fast food industry who have the strength to deal with mornons of America on a daily basis. God Bless you.
I was in a drive thru today and there was a lady in front of me ordering food. " EEEYEEE WAAAANT A SOOOFT TACOOO" talking so slow that my grandma could have understood this lady from the grave. When I pulled up to the window it was a normal guy, in his mid 40's, perfectly healthy with no hearing aid or hearing malfunction that would make this lady want to talk to him like he was rain man on a really bad day. Please, when you go through the damn drive thru do not talk to the people like they are mentally malfunctioned and can't understand English.
I can not begin to even count the times the times that I have gone through the drive thru and heard people yelling at the person because they are Spanish. I hate to break it to you people but there are Spanish people who speak English better then the white people who have been here their whole life so lay off. Just because there is a Spanish person working in a fast food joint doesn't mean that they are illegal immigrants and deserve your racist comments and rude remarks as you pass through. Not every illegal immigrant runs for the border and gets a job at Taco Bell so open your eyes people because that spanish banker of yours that you love so much might just be more illegal then the guy taking your order at the local Burger King.
I am pretty sure that English is a requirement when taking orders so you don't need to help the person taking your order our by making them feel stupid. Many of them are smarter then you are and they have enough respect not to call you stupid when you start talking like you had 20 strokes just so you can get your french fries extra crispy. Thank you to all the people who work in the fast food industry who have the strength to deal with mornons of America on a daily basis. God Bless you.
Tip your server people!
I have been in the service industry for a little over 12 years now and with every passing shift I am amazed by at least one table every shift. However, being the lucky girl I am, I would say at least 25-35% of my tables are rude, inconsiderate, demanding peices of s$%#. I can't believe that many people treat their servers like they are un-educated, useless people that are there to serve them because they have nothing better to do in life. This blog is dedicated to all the people who go in a restaurant thinking that their server is useless and that tipping them that 15% is genourous. I encourage the stupid people to pay close attention and the rest of you read on for entertainment purposes.
Lets start off with one of my favorite. As servers we all have that table that thinks they are the only person in the restaurant. This means when your server is at a table you are either jumping up and down in your seat like your ass is on fire to yelling out "hey waiter/waitress" as loud as you can so that you can get our attention all for a re-fill on a glass of water that is still half full. I suggest you put some ice down your pants and chill out for awhile because you are not the only person that your server (NOT WAITER) is serving and that means that we can not run over to you when you rudely try to get our attention all so we can wait on your every need. In fact there are probably at least four other tables being served by the same server, and believe it or not, they will get to you. I have had people yelling at me when I am taking another order, halfway across the restaurant, and when I have two hands full of food. This is rude behavior on your part unless I have neglected to stop by your table at all and you have an emtpy glass and have not seen me more then once. Would you like it if people yelled at you when you are at work and trying to do your job? Just because we are not lawyers, doctors, etc does not give anybody the right to treat us like we are your personal slave there to be at your beck and call. In fact, many of us do have educations, some of us are serving to pay for our classes, and we generally are really nice people trying to make your experience a good one which is impossible if you are just another one of those people who give themselves a hernia over the fact that you don't have a side of ranch. Chances are if you are polite the ranch is going to get there in a timely manner.
This may shock some of you but we all only have two hands. Guess what this means? When we have a plate in each hand and one balancing on our wrist when we come to deliver your food and you immediately say "oh, I ordered a side of bread with that, where is it?" chances are we can't balance your damn bread or side or fries or whatever it is you so importantly need on our head and it will probably make it to your table shortly. This also means when we are clearing your table and already have a stack of plates in our hands (again, we only have two) when you keep handing them to us the chances are that we won't be able to take all of them at once unless we, by some miracle, grow an extra two arms and hands right at that moment. However, once again, your table will probably be cleared shortly. Usually, if you have a competent server, it will all get done and you do not need to remind us how to do our job. Do people tell you what to do at your job on a daily basis and hand you a bunch of stuff to do that is not humanly possible every hour at your work? No? Then please respect us how you expect to be respected at your job.
One of my favorite things about serving are the people who yell at their servers for their food. I am honestly amazed that some people do not realize that we do not cook the food. We do not take your order and go cook the food and then deliver it to you. This means if your food is taking a long time.......probably not our fault because this is the cooks job and not ours. If you ask politely then we will most likely go find out what the problem is and bring you your food as well as making sure that someone in charge comes over and apologizes to you. If you yell at us then chances are your food will still come out but rudeness gets you nowhere. Here is a newsflash for some you out there.......if you order a well-done steak or hamburger then it takes time to get the food to well-done. We don't have a well-done fairy that comes over and makes your well-done food in five minutes. We have normal human beings cooking your food. Just like at home, it takes time to get your food to well-done so if you are in a hurry, order something else. When your food comes out not cooked properlly, again, we don't cook it so it's not our fault. If you get the wrong thing and it's our mistake we usually apologize and fix the problem. It's not the end of the world if you order a burger with no mayo and it comes out with mayo on it people. It's a minor, human mistake and we will fix it for you so please don't get your panties in a bunch over it. And last, but not least, one of my favorites. When you come into a restaurant and order a bunch of food and then tell your server that you are in a hurry what do you expect out of the situation? Do you expect us to put you in front of the other one hundred people dining at the same time as you because you are in a hurry? Do you want us to make your food super fast so it comes out crappy? If you are in a hurry and want a well-done burger do you not see the contradiction in that? For people like you........you see the golden arches with a drive-thru.......go to it because that is what fast food is. Fast food is for the people in a hurry who want their food right away and you are a perfect candidate for that.
Everyone likes to work over time right? Well when you walk into a restaurant and ask what time they close ten minutes to them closing and say "oh good, we made it." You are wrong my friend. You didn't make it and it's rude to sit down and eat a whole meal while the server, cooks, managers, bartenders, etc all have to stay and wait for you to take that last bite. When you are the last person in that restaurant that means you are probably the least liked customer. When you sit there for two hours after closing chatting away you are keeping us there until you are done. There is a place called Sharis, IHOP, and your own home that are perfect for you. Then there are the people who sit there for hours at their table talking away. I have had a table sit there for five hours of my shift. For each hour that means I could have had another table there which means I would have an extra tip for each hour that you sit there. That means that at the end when you leave me a five dollar bill and are happy with yourselves that my children suffer from that because mom did not make any money do to the gabfest that went on for five hours. At least be courteous and tip a little extra for the poor sould who gets no extra tables because you decided to make a butt imprint in your chair from sitting there for so long.
We deal with people like this on a daily basis. All of us usally have mulitple tables asking us for sides of ranch, a refill on a coke, where their food is, they got the wrong side, their food was not cooked properlly, they want another side of ranch, they want their food heated up more, their hot tea is not warm enough and they want warm water (by the way, people who order tea, we don't like you.), if they can have lemon in their water, can they change their mind on their order, they are in a hurry, etc. and this means that we run our asses off for you. We want you to be happy. We want to have a good experience with you because that is our job. We want to laugh and make sure that your food was great and came out right. We want you to leave happy but we also want you to know that we are educated smart people. We support families as well and have kids to feed. We need gas and to pay for our school so that we no longer have to get yelled at for someones un-cooked burger. We have to work our butts of for you for twelve hours sometimes just to make ends meet because some people think tipping is not necessary. We run our butts off for your tip. We don't just bring your food out. We have to get your drinks, refills, take your food order, put it in the computer, make sure its right, make sure it comes out hot, make sure that you like it, offer dessert, make sure you are happy and satisfied, make sure you want to come back, and serve the other tables as well all with a smile on our face. We cant get mad at that one table that orders something and every time we go back to the table need something else instead of ordering it all at once like a smart person......instead we have to get over it and still serve you with a smile on our face. We can't kick the guy in the nuts that belittles us and makes us feel stupid by talking to us like we are a two year old....instead we have to smile at him and move on with our day. We can't yell at the lady who bitches us out because her food was not properlly cooked even if it has nothing to do with us and instead we have to smile at her while she tells us how stupid we are. Does anybody get where I am going with this?
Most servers are paid minimum wage plus tips. This means that we get paid jack #$% if we do not get tipped. We don't want you to give us the "verbal tip" and tell us how great we are and then give us five dollars on a sixty-five dollar tab. We work for our tip and we work hard. Most people think they should tip their server 15% and then there are alot of people who think they should tip their server 2% because they don't understand what we go through to get that tip. Instead of pulling out your "tip calculator" unless you are horrible with math, then you should go for that 20% tip and tell your server thank you.We are human, we work hard, we deserve it. Some of us do have bad days and you have to be understanding that once again, we are human. I encourage everyone to serve a table for a day to see what we really go through on a daily basis and until you do that then don't put us down. We do a job that many people can't and we should be respected for that. For the people who just don't get it due to lack of brain cells and a cold heart.......make your own damn food.
Lets start off with one of my favorite. As servers we all have that table that thinks they are the only person in the restaurant. This means when your server is at a table you are either jumping up and down in your seat like your ass is on fire to yelling out "hey waiter/waitress" as loud as you can so that you can get our attention all for a re-fill on a glass of water that is still half full. I suggest you put some ice down your pants and chill out for awhile because you are not the only person that your server (NOT WAITER) is serving and that means that we can not run over to you when you rudely try to get our attention all so we can wait on your every need. In fact there are probably at least four other tables being served by the same server, and believe it or not, they will get to you. I have had people yelling at me when I am taking another order, halfway across the restaurant, and when I have two hands full of food. This is rude behavior on your part unless I have neglected to stop by your table at all and you have an emtpy glass and have not seen me more then once. Would you like it if people yelled at you when you are at work and trying to do your job? Just because we are not lawyers, doctors, etc does not give anybody the right to treat us like we are your personal slave there to be at your beck and call. In fact, many of us do have educations, some of us are serving to pay for our classes, and we generally are really nice people trying to make your experience a good one which is impossible if you are just another one of those people who give themselves a hernia over the fact that you don't have a side of ranch. Chances are if you are polite the ranch is going to get there in a timely manner.
This may shock some of you but we all only have two hands. Guess what this means? When we have a plate in each hand and one balancing on our wrist when we come to deliver your food and you immediately say "oh, I ordered a side of bread with that, where is it?" chances are we can't balance your damn bread or side or fries or whatever it is you so importantly need on our head and it will probably make it to your table shortly. This also means when we are clearing your table and already have a stack of plates in our hands (again, we only have two) when you keep handing them to us the chances are that we won't be able to take all of them at once unless we, by some miracle, grow an extra two arms and hands right at that moment. However, once again, your table will probably be cleared shortly. Usually, if you have a competent server, it will all get done and you do not need to remind us how to do our job. Do people tell you what to do at your job on a daily basis and hand you a bunch of stuff to do that is not humanly possible every hour at your work? No? Then please respect us how you expect to be respected at your job.
One of my favorite things about serving are the people who yell at their servers for their food. I am honestly amazed that some people do not realize that we do not cook the food. We do not take your order and go cook the food and then deliver it to you. This means if your food is taking a long time.......probably not our fault because this is the cooks job and not ours. If you ask politely then we will most likely go find out what the problem is and bring you your food as well as making sure that someone in charge comes over and apologizes to you. If you yell at us then chances are your food will still come out but rudeness gets you nowhere. Here is a newsflash for some you out there.......if you order a well-done steak or hamburger then it takes time to get the food to well-done. We don't have a well-done fairy that comes over and makes your well-done food in five minutes. We have normal human beings cooking your food. Just like at home, it takes time to get your food to well-done so if you are in a hurry, order something else. When your food comes out not cooked properlly, again, we don't cook it so it's not our fault. If you get the wrong thing and it's our mistake we usually apologize and fix the problem. It's not the end of the world if you order a burger with no mayo and it comes out with mayo on it people. It's a minor, human mistake and we will fix it for you so please don't get your panties in a bunch over it. And last, but not least, one of my favorites. When you come into a restaurant and order a bunch of food and then tell your server that you are in a hurry what do you expect out of the situation? Do you expect us to put you in front of the other one hundred people dining at the same time as you because you are in a hurry? Do you want us to make your food super fast so it comes out crappy? If you are in a hurry and want a well-done burger do you not see the contradiction in that? For people like you........you see the golden arches with a drive-thru.......go to it because that is what fast food is. Fast food is for the people in a hurry who want their food right away and you are a perfect candidate for that.
Everyone likes to work over time right? Well when you walk into a restaurant and ask what time they close ten minutes to them closing and say "oh good, we made it." You are wrong my friend. You didn't make it and it's rude to sit down and eat a whole meal while the server, cooks, managers, bartenders, etc all have to stay and wait for you to take that last bite. When you are the last person in that restaurant that means you are probably the least liked customer. When you sit there for two hours after closing chatting away you are keeping us there until you are done. There is a place called Sharis, IHOP, and your own home that are perfect for you. Then there are the people who sit there for hours at their table talking away. I have had a table sit there for five hours of my shift. For each hour that means I could have had another table there which means I would have an extra tip for each hour that you sit there. That means that at the end when you leave me a five dollar bill and are happy with yourselves that my children suffer from that because mom did not make any money do to the gabfest that went on for five hours. At least be courteous and tip a little extra for the poor sould who gets no extra tables because you decided to make a butt imprint in your chair from sitting there for so long.
We deal with people like this on a daily basis. All of us usally have mulitple tables asking us for sides of ranch, a refill on a coke, where their food is, they got the wrong side, their food was not cooked properlly, they want another side of ranch, they want their food heated up more, their hot tea is not warm enough and they want warm water (by the way, people who order tea, we don't like you.), if they can have lemon in their water, can they change their mind on their order, they are in a hurry, etc. and this means that we run our asses off for you. We want you to be happy. We want to have a good experience with you because that is our job. We want to laugh and make sure that your food was great and came out right. We want you to leave happy but we also want you to know that we are educated smart people. We support families as well and have kids to feed. We need gas and to pay for our school so that we no longer have to get yelled at for someones un-cooked burger. We have to work our butts of for you for twelve hours sometimes just to make ends meet because some people think tipping is not necessary. We run our butts off for your tip. We don't just bring your food out. We have to get your drinks, refills, take your food order, put it in the computer, make sure its right, make sure it comes out hot, make sure that you like it, offer dessert, make sure you are happy and satisfied, make sure you want to come back, and serve the other tables as well all with a smile on our face. We cant get mad at that one table that orders something and every time we go back to the table need something else instead of ordering it all at once like a smart person......instead we have to get over it and still serve you with a smile on our face. We can't kick the guy in the nuts that belittles us and makes us feel stupid by talking to us like we are a two year old....instead we have to smile at him and move on with our day. We can't yell at the lady who bitches us out because her food was not properlly cooked even if it has nothing to do with us and instead we have to smile at her while she tells us how stupid we are. Does anybody get where I am going with this?
Most servers are paid minimum wage plus tips. This means that we get paid jack #$% if we do not get tipped. We don't want you to give us the "verbal tip" and tell us how great we are and then give us five dollars on a sixty-five dollar tab. We work for our tip and we work hard. Most people think they should tip their server 15% and then there are alot of people who think they should tip their server 2% because they don't understand what we go through to get that tip. Instead of pulling out your "tip calculator" unless you are horrible with math, then you should go for that 20% tip and tell your server thank you.We are human, we work hard, we deserve it. Some of us do have bad days and you have to be understanding that once again, we are human. I encourage everyone to serve a table for a day to see what we really go through on a daily basis and until you do that then don't put us down. We do a job that many people can't and we should be respected for that. For the people who just don't get it due to lack of brain cells and a cold heart.......make your own damn food.
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